About The Foundation
The Friends For Life Foundation, based in Commack, NY, provides an opportunity for breast cancer survivors to offer their knowledge, experience and optimism to those women currently undergoing treatment. Caregivers are also invited to participate. Residents Hillary and Michael Sweet, along with their friend Jeff Daniels, founded Friends for Life Foundation in memory of Daniels’ wife, Barbara, who died of a rare form of breast cancer on November 19, 2006. According to its mission statement, Friends for Life Foundation is a "group for breast cancer survivors and their caregivers to provide support and inspiration to each other. Together they share their experiences and reach out to others within the community.”
As a breast cancer survivor who completed treatment herself, Hillary is strongly motivated by a need to help other women who are coping with this disease. After her friend Barbara Daniels passed, she realized her calling. “I was so inspired by Barbara’s buoyant attitude. She taught me so much about living for each day and to laugh even when things aren’t going quite right. She was warm, fun and a wonderful role model. I will truly miss her," Hillary said. “I knew I had to do something dedicated to her memory." She called Jeff to ask for help in founding the Friends for Life Foundation. Very quickly after his wife passed, Daniels discovered that he “felt compelled to go back into it and help others who are going through their own situation with all the knowledge and skills that I acquired."
Daniels plans to publish his account, “A Caregiver’s Journey”, in which he relates his family’s experience of struggling with his wife’s rare and aggressive form of breast cancer. The years his wife fought the disease was a time of transformation for them both. Taking care of Barbara “became a full-time occupation … became my life’s passion,” Jeff said. The group’s founding was inspired by Barbara’s love for life, and its cause will be enhanced by Michael and Jeff’s knowledge as caregivers, as well as Jeff’s experience as a support group moderator.
The first part of the monthly group meeting is strictly social. Keeping the environment comforting is very important to Friends for Life Foundation. “Strong friendships are forming within the group,” Hillary said. The second part of the meeting focuses on fundraising efforts, such as a scholarship fund for children of families impacted by breast cancer. Hillary said, " the Friends for Life Foundation also offers personal comfort to women undergoing treatment through the Care Committee. One major role of the Care Committee is to call to check on breast cancer patients who are referred to Friends for Life Foundation. The committee also sends a bouquet of flowers to anyone starting breast cancer treatment."
One of the goals of Friends for Life Foundation is to share names of doctors when asked, to people who are newly diagnosed and who need to start breast cancer treatment. Our group wants to share their experiences regarding these physicians. Hillary related an experience of an elderly man whose wife had breast cancer and was advised to undergo radiation. During the course of the treatment, the radiologist burned her badly, thereby causing more bodily suffering and making it difficult for the husband to transport his wife to her appointments. Upon hearing of this man’s struggles, Hillary shared the phone number of a nurse’s aide who had the appropriate experience. In response to the information, “you could hear the change in his voice to a tone of relief,” said Hillary.
Friends for Life Foundation has
specialists speak on topics such as medicine, nutrition and the effects
the disease can have on the victim’s spouse and children. “My daughter and
son didn’t have anyone they knew who was going through this,” Hillary
said. Husbands and caregivers have a tough role to play, supplying comfort
and “watching their wives and loved ones, wondering what the future will
bring,” Hillary said. Hillary has 2 children who were 10 and 12yrs old at
the time of her diagnosis. Jeff has three children. Years ago, when his
wife was first diagnosed, the family had “a much scarier experience given
that the kids were so much younger,” according to Jeff.
Kids for Life, a part of Friends for Life Foundation offers support for
children who have a parent or relative who has breast cancer. The children
have their own message board that is overseen by a family therapist.
Hillary said, "Children tend to want to talk to other kids about what they
are going through. Kids who are involved on the message board are
volunteers, kids who currently have a relative going through breast cancer
treatment, and kids who have gone through the experience. Kids for Life
allows them to get support while being able to help other kids and
adults too."
Friends for Life Foundation aims to serve as a place for women who have completed treatment to find comfort and offer aid to those still struggling with the disease. This active solidarity “is what I think separates us and sets us apart from other breast cancer support groups” Jeff said.
